


trevor is a dirty flat earth rat bastard

by brattybat



Category: Castlevania, Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, im so sorry, trevor is a flat earther
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 02:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16693888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brattybat/pseuds/brattybat
Summary: this is the worst thing ive ever writtenset after season 2, sypha and trevor come back to the castle after traveling and bring a fancy bottle of vodka to share then they all get drunk and a very serious subject is discussed.....





	trevor is a dirty flat earth rat bastard

**Author's Note:**

> IM REALLY SORRY THIS IS SOOOO STUPID ITS 4 IN THE MORNING GOD HAS FORSAKEN ME

After reunions, the tears and prolonged hugging and relief after relief finally settled; warmth replaced Adrian’s plaintive solitude. A warmth he had only felt so briefly when they had first met, yet vanished just as quick, alongside Trevor and Sypha when they left him. It was a warmth that rested in his core, and he wished only that it would reside there, to make a permanent hearth within him.

 

“Oh, but you better not think we come without bearing gifts!” Sypha was the first to announce, taking it upon herself to stuff an arm into a hefty burlap sack attached at Trevor’s backside. Before she could completely dump all its contents, Adrian suggested they all get comfortable first.

 

By now, the trio had settled within a castle that was a bit more tidied up, looked  _ almost  _ lived in. Adrian led them upstairs, to the study where he had ended up spending the most of his time, aside from the library. With the exception of major obstructions and massive damage to structural integrity, Adrian hadn’t fixed or truly altar a single thing about his father’s home. Despite it all, he felt he didn’t have the right (or perhaps, didn’t have the heart) to interfere with the history of it all. He didn’t dare set foot again, in his bedroom.

 

The study was cozy compared to the vast, open space of the main entrance. A fire warmed the room with a gentle roar, almost as if, Adrian had been expecting company.

 

In truth, he had been expecting company from the day Trevor and Sypha said their goodbyes.

 

“So, I’m sure your dad had like the fattest wine stash but look at this shit I bought from a caravan market on the side of the road.” Trevor held up a glass bottle, in the jarring shape of a human skull topped with a corkscrew, filled with a colorless liquid - almost to the brim, presumably tested by Trevor.

 

Adrian eyed the bottle with clear suspicion. “Is this some sort of joke where you get me to take a shot of holy water or something?” 

 

Mouth open and chest puffed, Trevor was moments away from a belligerent retort, cut off swiftly.

 

“No, no, of course not. It’s just vodka. Vodka that Trevor paid  _ insanely  _ for, supposedly of the best quality, finest vodka around, as the vendor proclaimed so.” She loosely crossed her arms, but ended up chuckling nonetheless, “First thing he said was it would make a great gift to share when we returned to you, if it was as special as the man so extravagantly insisted.” She was settled comfortably on the lounge chair. 

 

Adrian snickered, “Is that right? Your first thought when you come to visit is to get drunk? Don’t you think it to be a bit drab, knowing you already do that on the daily?” He raised a brow pointedly, eyes sharp. 

 

Trevor was already straightening himself into a confrontational posture, expression mischievous despite the jab. “No, no I just wanted to see if you could even get drunk.” He was already opening the bottle, sitting on the floor near the fireplace. His coat and satchel set beside him. “You got any cups?”

 

Sighing, the vampire narrowed his eyes, disappeared out of the room in a red flash. Moments later, when he appeared again, he held three upside down wine glasses between his fingers. “This is the best you’ll get, I suppose.” He set them on the desk in a neat row. Looking between the two, he leaned his hip against the old wood, “If we’re going to do this, let’s be thorough.”

 

The glasses were clearly much too big to hold a proper, and  _ small _ , portion of vodka, but that wasn’t stopping Trevor from topping each cup off with the clear alcohol with absolutely no hesitation. 

 

“This.. This is a mistake.” Sypha concluded with a short nod before even reaching for one of the glasses, dangerously full. “But, we know at least one of us will live.” 

 

The first collective sip earned sharp scowls and a handful of curses. 

“And you’re sure this isn’t poison?” Adrian managed, swishing the transparent drink around with caution. Now this wasn’t exactly the reunion celebration he had in mind, but to see Trevor and Sypha again was enough in itself. 

 

The second swig, went down only with slightly less resistance, but down nonetheless.

 

Twenty minutes past by like hours, and Adrian was smiling absently at the fire. The three had migrated toward each other, and were now all lounging by the floor in front of the hearth. The blond reached to the couch and retrieved a beige, loose knit blanket, draped it across Sypha’s shoulders. With the gesture, he beckoned her to move closer to the fire.

 

Sypha was giggling, appreciative and grasping the material tight around her, setting the half empty glass down, “It’s so soft,” She noted, inhaling, “Smells nice, too.” Her cheeks were warm, red from the heat and alcohol both.

 

At that, Adrian was smiling again, resting his head against the wall, “I made it.” He answered, closing his eyes. “Took up some hobbies while you two were away.” The sound of Trevor almost choking opened up Adrian’s eyes only a moment later.

 

“You- You  _ knit  _ now? Did you knit us all matching sweaters, too?” He snorted, tipping his glass and leaning toward in disbelief. The gruff man began inspecting the blanket. Truly, it was very soft. The pattern neat and seemed like it must have taken a great deal of time and patience.

 

“Perhaps I did,” Adrian quipped, inspecting his own glass, not nearly as emptied as Trevor’s, or even Sypha’s, “I.. Well,” He was growing flustered, self conscious, or maybe bashful, he couldn’t quite tell, “Only after I finally got rid of you two did I realize how much I’d miss you.” He hummed, voice much quieter now. Hearing his own words, he laughed, took a bitter sip from his cup, “I know, it’s a mundane skill, but I have gotten quite good at it.”

 

Sypha rose from her spot, settled beside Adrian only after wrapping the blanket around them both. She shook her head, “It’s a lovely skill, a peaceful one. It’s a wonderful feeling, the sense of accomplishment when you create something with your own hands.” She rested against the man, “We missed you, too.”

 

Reignited heat swelled within him, and Adrian leaned against the woman, grateful. Keeping her close, he tilted his head and focused his attention back to Trevor, who was now visibly pouting and pretending to be much too intrigued by his alcohol. Thoughtful, Adrian would assume to just ignore the childish man, or throw out a remark at his behavior, but he did neither of those things. 

 

“Come, there is room for us all, you oaf.” The vampire spoke up gently, raising an arm and inviting Trevor to his other side.

 

It didn’t take much of any more coaxing until Trevor was snug, wrapped up in the blanket with the other two.

 

Comfortable silence washed over them, and Adrian found himself resting his eyes once more. And once more, he was roused back to awareness when Trevor shifted next to him. Blinking, the vampire stayed still as an arm wrapped around his torso. Soon enough Trevor was clinging to him, cheek on his shoulder and nose brushing his neck. 

 

“We really did miss you,” A gravelly voice breathed against Adrian’s skin. 

 

And yes, this was it, this sense of being whole, as if he were utterly emptied before this moment. Adrian was smiling, truly. He leaned, let a hand raise to brush hair behind Trevor’s ear, while his other hand grasped onto Sypha’s.

 

-

 

“I’m  _ telling  _ you, listen,” Sypha was standing, the blanket still wrapped about her frame, like a shawl, “He would take  _ any  _ chance he got to talk you up like a king to any breathing thing that crossed our path.” She pointed an accusatory finger at Trevor, beginning to chortle like a child telling a secret, but loudly, and with the subjects of said secret being the focal point. 

 

At this, Trevor stood as well, tipping over an empty glass and lucky that it didn’t shatter. “Hey, missy,” His tone almost slurred, “Okay, Alucard don’t even listen to her, she spent an  _ entire day _ trying to pick a present out for you. We stopped by  _ one  _ gift shop, just the one. A stuffed puppy, Sypha. A stuffed puppy, and you would not stop asking me if I think Alucard would like it! This wasn’t the only time, either, she was always- always trying to find a present, wondering if this brush or that book would be good enough for him.”

 

All three glasses were empty. The moon at its peak in the sky above, and the night was chilly, but the three would never know. Not while they were together, warm in every sense of the word.

 

The vampire began to giggle, shaking his head. The thought of Trevor bragging about  _ him _ , or Sypha trying to buy him a stuffed toy, it was so childish but felt so passionate at the same time. Giggles turned into laughter, loud and earnest. Unbeknownst to himself, it was the first time Adrian had laughed this much in front of the two.

 

Trevor and Sypha both, separately, stopped drinking, and stared. It was like witnessing a child walking for the first time, or seeing a heavenly painting, or the miracle of the first snowfall of winter. And the more Adrian laughed, the more they realized it was none of those things, but instead the red flush of attraction. 

 

Trevor swallowed heavy, rubbed at his neck and managed to glance over at Sypha, who was tugging at a short curl, looking like a love struck puppy. Then they were looking at each other, and it clicked. They had it bad.

 

By then, Adrian calmed, noticed he was being gawked at.

 

Now everyone in the room was flushed.

  
  


-

 

Boisterous laughter filled the study, and Adrian was leaning against the hearth, holding his stomach. “No, but really, I spent a lot of time down there,” He wiped a tear from his eye as he set a half full glass (repoured) onto the mantle, “There’s way more than just that penis spellbook you found, Sypha. There’s so much more, I’m telling you. I found some of the most shameless smut you could imagine down in that.. Porn Cave.. The Filth Cavern.”

 

They were all hollering again, even before Adrian could finish. Alcohol turned them into teenagers, apparently, laughing over the idea of sex and telling obnoxious secrets about each other. 

“What can I say? The Belmonts wanted to know everything, especially all that nasty sex occultist shit.”

 

“The Sex Crypt.. Lechery Vault.. The Horny Tunnel..”

 

Sypha was crying, unable to take a proper swig, “Give me another one.”

 

“The Sleazy Tomb,” Adrian wheezed.

 

It took a good few minutes to calm them down enough to rejoin in proper conversation. Trevor took the wheel first this time. 

 

“Well obviously we have to go look now.” 

 

And then suddenly they were out, venturing into the Belmont vault, in the middle of the night. Their wine glasses still in tow, and bringing the blanket along with them. As Adrian walked, holding onto Sypha for balance, he looked up to the waning moon, and suddenly gasped.

 

The other two stopped dead in their tracks, sobering up enough to expect some sort of hell monster. Trevor reached for the mourning star at his side, that he had left in the castle.

 

“The Naughty Chamber.”

 

Trevor groaned loud, breath visible in puffs, “Adrian you ass. I thought we were gonna have to fight some demons shit-faced drunk.”

 

They ascended the stairs, walking further and further down into the vault, and Adrian laughed, “Wouldn’t that be a treat.”

 

-

 

A good while was spent down there, torches lit and eventually warmed up again, they huddled over a pile of books in one of the many remote corners of the place. The comments were just as any would expect.

 

“Can the human body even move that way?”

 

“A vampire surely could.”

 

“How does that fit in there?”

 

“Wait,  _ that’s  _ what thats for?”

 

Trevor was skimming through a novel depicting the most favored sex positions throughout the known world, Adrian on another text and Sypha casually reading over his shoulder. They took turns humming, snickering, showing an obscene image or five to Adrian.

 

It wasn’t until they gradually got off the sex topic and more of the demon topic that…  _ it _ happened. Trevor was reading over a particularly thick book about the geography of demons. Some types appeared in specific areas more than others, and the theory that perhaps there were certain types for each region. It made sense, all up until the map and explanation of where they all came from.

 

“Wait, this book’s saying that these demons are common on opposite sides of the world, that doesn’t make sense.”

 

Alucard looked up from his own book, brow raised, chuckling, “Why not?”

 

Trevor huffed, shaking his head, “Why would they travel so far? Wouldn’t it make sense if that subcategory would just stick to one area if this theory is correct? What’s the point of flying all that way?”

 

Sypha’s curiosity peaked, and she walked over to the man, looked over his shoulder to see a rather normal looking map of the world. Blinking, she read through the legend, then inspected the map again. Her eyes narrowed in confusion.

 

“Trevor, sweetie, it’s the same continent, the map is spread out like that, if they are here,” She pointed to one end of the map, “Then they can easily get to here,” She pointed to the opposite end, “Because it connects, it’s the same region.”

 

Trevor was scowling, clearly disgruntled, he shut the book. “What? No, Sypha they would just fall off.”

 

At this, Adrian paused mid turn of a page, lifting his head and staring sideways at the Belmont. “I beg your pardon?”

 

The vampire, expressionless, set his glass on the bookshelf before sauntering over to the situation that was going to get worse before it got better, book still in hand.

 

“Yeah? The demons would fall off if they walked too close to the ends like that, anyone would.” Trevor was confused as to why he was suddenly the subject of speculation.

 

Sypha’s gaze was far away, thinking hard about something or perhaps not at all. When she refocused, she shifted her attention to Adrian, who was struggling over whether he should take this one for the team or not. She placed a hand on Trevor’s shoulder.

 

“Trevor,” She began to laugh nervously, “Trevor, they wouldn’t fall. Nobody would fall, they would just go around to the other side.. You.. You think if someone walks enough they are going to just.. Fall off the face of the earth?”

 

“Yes, Sypha, obviously! I don’t know why this is even a topic for discussion, this book is clearly dated and wrong.” He was beginning to get frustrated.

 

Sypha sighed, squeezed Trevor’s shoulder, eyes firm, “Listen to me. The world is round, it’s spherical. I know people thought it was a flat plane long ago, but truly, it’s always been round-”

 

At that, Adrian exhaled, relieved. He walked back, grateful for Sypha and her intelligence, and began to slide his book back into the shelf.

 

“- like a marble, set upon God’s finger. God spins it, and that is how we get day and night. Don’t you see?”

 

With a deafening crack, the bookshelf was snapped in half, splintering wood, books and all, came down in a crash. Clawed hands were tensed, shaking.

 

Both humans turned at the sudden noise, drawn from their debate, to see a motionless Alucard, amidst the mess he had just made. “You okay?” and “What happened?” were the first and only questions asked.

 

It took a good minute before Adrian breathed, turned to face the two lovely fools he had given his heart to, and managed a sigh. He stepped up to them.

 

“Yes, just put too much pressure on old wood, is all,” Adrian placed both hands on either of Sypha and Trevor’s cheeks, stroking the skin delicately, “Let’s completely drop this conversation, and all other scholarly subjects. It’s late, let us go back to the castle.”

 

And so, hesitant at first, Trevor and Sypha, ultimately coaxed by the vampire, agreed and trudged back up the winding stairs.

 

“I still think the earth is flat-”

 

Adrian’s sword flew at full speed from its hilt at his side, pointed not an inch from Trevor’s forehead. 

 

“You say one more word and you’re sleeping outside.”

 


End file.
